YouTube Password Recovery Options To Now Include Your Firstborn Son

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YouTube Password Recovery Options To Now Include Your Firstborn Son

YouTube Password Recovery Options To Now Include Your Firstborn Son

When, on Saturday morning, YouTube updated their terms and service agreement, most users clicked on it, accepted it, and didn’t bother to read it. All was normal in their lives, but YouTube did use the update to introduce a few surprising new changes to the password recovery policy. Users wishing to retrieve their password will now be required to offer their firstborn son in exchange, which has a couple of major ramifications for users.

  1. Because each person can only have one first born son, you will only be allowed to loose your password and retrieve it once.
  1. Anyone who does not yet have a firstborn son will be required to legally sign the rights over and then have said child as quickly as possible.
  1. Couples will be allowed to submit their first two sons, so long as it is only one child per account.

YouTube has had security problems with account hacks via the password recovery form since day one, and experts are suggesting that the new terms of service could reduce the hacked account rate to virtually nil. “After all,” said Internet Security Expert David Callahan, “It’s a lot harder to get ahold of someone’s child than their email address.”

Others suggest that perhaps the new password recovery options are more than a little severe, “You mean I can only recover my password once?” asked a High Tech Society reader who wished to remain anonymous, “I’ve already lost my password like four times, this is never going to work!”

But the majority of YouTube users seem to agree with Google CEO Larry Page on the matter, “Personally I’m glad of the increased security, have you seen how many accounts get hacked on a regular basis? And do you even know how much money some of these YouTube channels turn around. Seriously folks, the more security the better.”

Rebecca Ashward, a representative of Child Protective Services in California, Google’s main headquarters, is reportedly looking into the living conditions where the children will be raised. “So far it’s looking pretty decent,” Rebecca told our reporter in a statement, “Actually I’d say that YouTube is better equipped to care for these children then their own parents, I’m impressed,”


*Please note: This is Satire, any and all opinions expressed are those of the writer and not The High Tech Society.

So far no one has lost their password, but we’ll follow up with the first case as soon as it happens.

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Proliferate writer, sesquipedalian, techie, Apple fangirl (don't judge),tree hugger, yogi, tea drinker, zombie hunter. Into philotherianism & philomathy. Love my job. Visit me on Google +

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